Deklin Austin Maharaj - August 31, 2012

We welcomed a new member to our family on August 31st at 6:54pm.  Deklin Austin Maharaj came into this world weighing 7lbs and 12 ounces.  It was a somewhat uneventful delivery mostly due to our calm cool and collected OB.  Deklin's cord was around his neck.  He was induced.  There was also meconium in the uterus. But our OB handled it all in stride.   So all these things were happening but he came out ok and is now part of our family.  He also was born in August.  The same month of my dad's birthday.
Through this really tough year he was a ray of light into our lives.  It was so hard to welcome into this world and want to show him off to everyone without my dad here.  I have 2 boys and no father.   It is a constant reminder he isn't here seeing my sons share "boy things" with me but not having someone to look up to and share the things I want to with.

Deks (this is now his official nickname..) has been a quite typical baby.  Really only cries when something is messed up, hungry, tired, dirty.  He sometimes will sit in his chair awake and quiet.  We think he does that because of all the craziness around he doesn't want to let on that he is awake.  He has already taken more of a beating in his first days of life than either of the kids combined!  He has been sat on, poked, kicked, punched, scratched, pushed, and twisted.  His brother and sister really are bullying him around!  That being said they show him love every moment they can.  Quinn helps with hugs and changing him and Ronin makes sure visitors don't make him cry.  The other day Ronin got so mad at his Aaji.  He yelled at her "Aaji, you made my brother cry!!"

We both think the Deks is a good mix of both the kids.  Which I guess is the way it should be.  We were down the the final hours deciding a name. In fact Deklin came to me (again) the day before he was born.  It was on the table shortly for Quinn but when I saw the spelling (DECLAN) I said he can't be named DE - CLAN.  Only after Quinn was born did Brenda make aware to me that it isn't pronounced that way and that we could have changed the spelling.  His middle name has a very special meaning.  He is named after my dad's favourite car in South Africa.  A car he was known for all around the area he lived in South Africa.  Everyone knew my dad's Austin Princess.  We couldn't named him Princess, so Austin it was.  We had to have something for my dad, because Deks won't know him the same way Quinn and Ronin will.  There will be no pictures of Deks and my dad hanging out.  There will be no spoiling of Deks by my dad.  He is the first kid in this house without Bedford as a middle name.

It has been a circus around here the last weeks.  Lucky I am off to help out because it would be a tough road all around if this house had to deal with me going to work as well!

Not sure what the weeks ahead hold but we will do our best and see what comes.

Dad's Birthday - August 15, 1937

Today is my dad's birthday. I am not sure if I am supposed to say it would have been his birthday or it still is. I am going to say that today IS my Dad's birthday because regardless of what happened in the last month, today is the anniversary of the day he was born.

I was thinking that leading up to this day it wouldn't impact me as much because I miss him every minute of every day. I was wrong, really wrong. Today has just crushed me beyond words. I realized at about 3am this morning that today is the toughest of all days. Today was the one day that we could all do everything for my dad. Spoil him the way he was supposed to be and he would let us. Other days he wouldn't hear of it. If we would try and do something for him he would just say he will do it himself and tie in something for us. He was that kind of special man. I look around to other people and find it hard to see someone else like him. I guess that is why he was my dad. There was no one else like him, a true one of a kind original.

As I try and deal with today, I reflect on all the great times we had with him on birthdays. Not just his birthday but all our birthdays. We would always have cake. There would always be a meal out at a restaurant. There would definitely be presents. I remember my 30th birthday and I gave my parents such grief about getting me a weed wacker for my 30th birthday. I look back and regret giving him a hard time. I also am trying to look back and laugh because it is funny how they wanted to make sure I got something I either needed or wanted. My dad wasn't always sure what I wanted and I always told him I have everything I need. So he usually went the need route. I can honestly say that there was never a time when his heart was not in the right place. He wanted so badly to make me happy. I guess I never really told him that his hugs and his presence was more than enough for me. That made all the difference.

How do I know go on without having the enjoyment of my Dad in my life? How do I make this new life without him? I told everyone that he would never leave me and now I feel like I am leaving him by trying to move on with life.

I am struggling with the type of person I am and dealing with this. I am a bit of an obsessive personality so with all this pain I am trying to force the feelings through. Understand them, organize them, and then move on. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. This process is giving me so much frustration because I understand you can't force your heart into not hurting. All the rationalization in the world won't change a broken heart.

But today is my dad's day. I will try and celebrate him. Remember the years of laughter and joy we shared. Put on a happy face even if inside I am hurting. I will focus on being lucky to know him instead of sorrow of losing him. I will focus on him being happy instead of being lonely without him.

Today is his day and I will celebrate a beautiful man that gave me the world every day of my life. Would serve it up to me on a platter if I asked. I love him beyond words, beyond tears, and beyond this life.

I love you Dad.

Terrible Two's.... Both of them!!

A lot has happened since our last post. The gymnastics experiment has turned out not so well. Let us just say that we both cringe at the thought of Saturday mornings. However, we have both agreed to fight through it. These are the types of things Brenda and I band together on, among other things...

Quinn got her first ear infection a week before her second birthday. Of all the infections we have been so worried about with her for her 2 first years of life, this one was not that bad. As you can see by the picture below she was knocked out of commission.

Luckily Quinn was up and around in time for her second birthday. For her actual birthday we took her to the Rainforest Cafe with Ronin, her aaja, her aaji, and her poowa. She loved it the first time we visited there but this visit didn't start so well. Firstly, they sat us near the monkeys and gorillas. If you have ever been there you will understand that these creatures were even freaking out the big people! They moved us to a better spot and after a little while Quinn warmed up to the idea of being there. She did however have her heart set on heading out into Yorkdale mall to socialize. We came back to our house for cake and she opened some presents and actually stuck her hand in the cake that her mom made for her. She took a bite of it and then moved on to other more important things like pushing her train down the hall.

Quinn's Aaja and Aaji got Quinn one of the most awesome wagon's I have ever seen. This, along with the trampoline were presents that we knew from the beginning Quinn would love. As you can see below, she is enjoying both of them. The first one on her own, the rest is her sharing with her brother.

This week Ronin turned two months old. We thought he was getting a bit of a routine but then the last couple days he brought us crashing back to reality and we realize it was just a tease. We are lucky that Brenda took such great notes with Quinn so that we can compare what we went through the first time around. Needless to say he is turning into quite the little cutie as you can see below. He is really starting to smile and interact with the world around him. Quinn's thing was smiling. Ronin likes to smile but he has perfected the pissed off face. Below isn't the pissed off face because we like this face better.

On the 15th was Quinn's formal 2nd birthday party. Once again she was really spoiled not only by the presents that all the people that love her gave her but by her mom who really knows how to throw a kick ass 2nd Birthday party!!! We went with food that Quinn loves. As a result there was pasta and sauce as far as the eye can see. She got so many great presents and really loved them all. Here are a few pics of the spread and the festivities.

This past March Break, Quinn and Ronin spent a couple days in Peterborough with their Nead mosi and all their cousins. Quinn even had her first sleep in a toddler bed. As you can see from the picture below all the kids had a blast.

One Week Old and One Sick Toddler

Today Ronin turned 1 week and thankfully he is back up to his birth weight which is definitely something we are very glad that we don't have to worry about. He has been a good little guy thus far but that is from the father's position... I am not the one that gets up to feed all night.. so I am sure Brenda will have a different point of view. It is quite the different experience having a little boy. The things you talk about and the way you interpret his gestures is totally different. The picture below would make us feel sorry if it was Quinn but with Ronin we think he looks like a little gangster!!

This week has been tough trying to get used to having 2 kids on the go. There were several times that we looked at each other and asked us what have we gotten ourselves into!! Never was this more apparent than last night when we were getting the garbage ready. Does this look like a 2 children family or what??? As a game you can figure out which ones are Quinn's and which are Ronin's...

Quinn has been sick this week. She wasn't herself when she went to bed on Tuesday night and when we went in to get her in the morning we found she had thrown up in the night and was sleeping in it. I was traumatized by it... Needless to say we gave her a bath. I apologized to her repeatedly for not realizing what happened. All Tuesday she just wanted to be held and didn't want to do anything. I had to go out and get some stuff done and when I came home I was once again reminded that we are a two child family. I think Brenda's face says it all. She is a champ for being able to soothe both the children. Quinn needed her mommy and Ronin doesn't really know much else.

Today Quinn had an appointment so it was the first day that we travelled out as a family. It went off pretty well and we remembered how frantic we were when we used to leave the house when Quinn was first born. Quinn and Ronin played nice in the back seat of the car but as you can see the real estate is pretty tight. We really need to pull the trigger on a SUV. It is on the list...

Ronin Bedford Maharaj

On January 15th 2009 at 7:13 am, Ronin Bedford Maharaj came into this world. He came in weighing 7lbs and 12 ounces and a full 8 days early. Ronin is doing well and Brenda is also doing OK considering she just pushed a baby out of her!!! She still has some heartburn but nothing like she had while Ronin was on the inside!

The whole process this time was somewhat surreal considering the experience with Quinn. From the time we went to the hospital to the time he was born was only about 6 hours. Very different from the process with Quinn.

It is going to be interesting how we now manage having two children. We both said it is going to be like we are both single parents as we take the divide and conquer route!! Quinn seems to not care much about Ronin and doesn't seem to upset with the fact that he is so close to Brenda. Time will tell if this will wear out!

Early Rising, Graduation, and Pedicures

Quinn still is an early riser. She goes to bed anywhere from 7:30 to 8:30 but is usually up sometime between 5:00am and 6:00am. The good thing is that she really isn't looking for us to do anything for her. The bad thing is that she likes to talk and she likes to talk loud!!! We would like to be upset with her for comprimising our sleep but when we go in her room and see this... how can we possibly be angry??

A couple of weeks ago after some hard work and lots of studying Sinead graduated! She got her degree and is now off to face lifes challenges.... which could include some more school! It was a happy day for the whole extended Bedford clan.

My birthday is coming and Brenda decided to have a fun day on Saturday. It was a spa day at Novo spa in Yorkville, a nice lunch at the spa, a move in the afternoon and our annual visit to Tony Roma's in the evening. It was a great day all around. It was also my first pedicure experience. Let me just say that is was interesting. The other 2 treatments I had, a massage and a herbal wrap, were a lot more of the traditional relax thing. The pedicure was a whole other animal. I wouldn't say it was painful and I wouldn't say it was uncomfortable. I couldn't bring myself to actually look at the work that the lady was doing. She had a wide array of tools and I had no interest in what exactly was happening. I did enjoy the massage chairs and the foot bath. I also really enjoyed the final product as you can see they turned out pretty good. If you couldn't figure it out, my foot is the one without the nail polish!