2 Lives Lost

The above picture is from Sinead and Radu's wedding. Thank you Sinead for finding some pictures for me. If anyone has pictures of my dad please send me everything you have. It helps me see these moments captured.

It has been really hard to come to terms with my dad not being here. Everything is a reminder of him and it hurts. I was holding Ronin and thinking that I miss being a dad. I miss seeing the kids do things and just enjoy it. It seems I have been watching the kids through the eyes of a grieving son and not a proud father. I am having a hard time finding a balance between doing both.

I have the moments when I can bear the despair and there are times I can't. I have some suggestions for coping mechanisms to help me get through those times but they usually involve me pushing the thoughts out of my mind and focusing on other things. I find that extremely hard. Partly because it is difficult to do and mostly because I don't think my dad deserves to ever be pushed out of my mind. He is too important to me and I would never push him away in any form. That is my real struggle. Finding the way to pull him close to my heart without feeling the pain. I talk and talk to people for some parts of help and try different things but haven't found something that works.

I know my dad has passed and is gone. His life on this earth has ended but he didn't go on his own. He took such a big part of me with him. The title of this blog could be a lot more that 2 lives lost, considering my mom, my sister, Quinn, Ronin, and all the other people my dad impacted, but I will continue to try and focus on what I am going through because I could never understand their pain. I lost such a big part. I lost the possibilities, the new moments lost, and I lost my direction in life. I thought I had a good idea of how I wanted to live my life and face the challenges that were ahead of me but now I am not sure. This life is lost. How do I find the way to be OK with this life without my dad. What do I do about work? Working out? Playing sports? Being a father? I need his counsel and his love right now. I need it.

I can feel him right there. I can hear his voice. I can almost feel his touch. But he is gone. He feels so close but is so unattainable. I long for 5 minutes to talk to him. Just the reassurance from the only person that matters right now that I will be OK and things will be OK. How do I get that? How do I know that? How do I find this life?

I try and understand that I didn't rely on my dad to do things for me. I did need him though. I needed to know I always had him to help me along. I think about the time he was in the hospital and kept telling the doctors that he just needs a little help. I would tell him that he is an amazing man and just needs a little help. That is how I feel now. I know I have these great things in life but I always needed that little bit of help from my dad. The small things to help me through life as well as the larger emotional part. He gave me that little nudge through life so I could keep going. When I was younger the nudges were stronger and more frequent but as I got older they were less apparent and less direct. He would just ask if I was OK. He would drop off some groceries that he know we needed but never asked for. He would put his arm around me and hug me every time he saw me. He would just be him. He would comfort me without words. No one in the world can do that for me. I try and look and find other ways to help me cope. Look for the same things from other places but they aren't here, they aren't my dad. I feel so much desperation to have my dad with me, to have him hug me, and to understand that is not possible, is discouraging to say the least.

People tell me all kinds of encouraging things that I am sure sound great but don't seem to have impact on me. I know I need to embrace the great times I had with my dad. I know time moves on. I know my kids need me. I know I need to live in his honor. I know he would want me to be happy. I know his spirit won't rest unless he knows I am happy. I know all that and so much more. It doesn't help my heart. I can't just "move on" without my dad. It isn't that easy. If it were, then he wouldn't have been such a big part of my life.

My mental cycle of grief is so tough. I continue to hash through the hospital and everything that happened. I am grateful that everyone is so patient with me and support my questions/confirmations of events. I try and focus on the good times. I can say all the right things to the people that are also suffering with the loss of my dad. He had a great life. He was loved. He got sick and fought hard. His body gave out. It was his time. I say all these things with the greatest intentions in mind but they don't ease the pain. Maybe in time they will give us some comfort but I struggle to go to bed and wake up everyday. It is another sunset and sunrise I am experiencing without my father. I know he has left this world but I still need him and I still miss him.

Our Daily Chats

As I think I have mentioned before, I used to call my dad everyday. We wouldn't talk about much but it was nice to have that 10 minutes a day to talk to him. The topic of the day would change all the time from sports, the kids, cars, to any of a wide range of other things. Yesterday I took a long drive up to see Quinn, Brenda and her parents at their house in Peterborough. It was a surprise drop in as I was in Brampton and Ronin was at daycare. I was thinking that a long drive to talk to myself would be good. I loaded some stuff that needed to go to Peterborough in the truck and off I went. The drive up was more about reminiscing and thinking about what had happened. I got there and unloaded the stuff. Had a bite to eat and headed back to get Ronin. The drive back I found myself more emotional. The entire drive back I held my cell phone so tight in my hand so desperately wishing I could call him. Trying to remember the countless conversations we had and how it was so comforting to know I could just pick up the phone to talk to him. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed and needed those 10 minutes in my day. Now I do understand. That time gave me a sense of being loved and needed beyond what I get from Brenda and the kids. It was a feeling I have never not had. Every time he picked up the phone there was no doubt he was happy to hear my voice. He was so comforting just by the way he said "Hello". Whatever problems I had would just seem in perspective at that moment. I wouldn't talk to him about my problems very often, that really wasn't what the call was about it was just a daily connection to my dad. I am lost without it. Those 10 minutes made my heart feel like there was someone out there that has and will always be there just for me. My dad would never let anything stand in the way of him being with me and it hurts so much to know I can't have that anymore. I think that is the biggest source of the loneliness I feel. That same loneliness transfers on to Quinn and Ronin. Someone worded it to me quite correctly, I am suffering through the loss of my dad two fold, one for me and one for Quinn & Ronin.

The daily chats would usually end with my dad passing the phone to my mom. I would delay asking about my mom because as soon as I would, my dad would pass the phone off so I could get the information first hand. I would ask him about the Cadillac, how he is feeling, what he is doing, and all kinds of other stuff. It was what they call those little things. My mom said when he got home he would always ask if I called. I never thought he really focused on my calls but know I understand how much he looked forward to it as well. It was so special. The whole drive was that constant longing to call my dad but it was so much more. I cried a lot. I missed him. I screamed. I cried some more. I remembered him. I was in disbelief he was gone. I yelled some more. I thought about the hospital. It was emotionally draining but also a release. I am starting to understand why my mom says she needs time to be alone. This was my alone time and I was able to let everything go. It felt nice not to censor anything and talk aloud. The whole drive came to a point when a song came on an old CD I had in the car. There was a song called "In a Little While" by Uncle Kracker. It seemed like the song was written for me at this moment. Here are a few lyrics from that song:

Sometimes I feel like Something is gone here

Something is wrong here, I don't belong here

I've lost what I have found

In a little while I will be thinking about you

In a little while I'll still be here without you

You never gave me a reason to doubt you

As you can see it is very direct to what I am going through. The part about I don't belong here really hit home. I belong in a life where my dad is. Where I can pick up the phone to talk to him and not a life where he passed away and I can't reach him. I've lost the relationship with him that I had just understood when he went into the hospital. All the other lines are self explanatory. It was weird to hear this song at this time on a CD I haven't listened to in years. Then there was a verse that totally broke me down:

On the other side of a coin
There’s a face there’s a memory somewhere that I can’t erase
And there’s a place that I'll find someday
But sometimes I feel like it’s slippin’ away

This is how I feel. It is my dad and a place with him that I want to find but it is slipping away as my life with him just becomes memories and it is so hard. I miss him as a part of my physical life.

I think back to listening to the radio when I had issues with girls and it seemed like all the songs were written for me. It was because those songs were written with that situation in mind. I don't think there are too many songs out there with what I am going through in mind. In fact this song is more about a break up than about losing a parent.

The picture above is the image I remember every time I walk into my parents house. That was my dad's "spot" he would look over and get up if he wasn't in the middle of something. I remember him there when I was growing up working so hard on stuff with papers everywhere but would always take time to talk with me. It is really that which impacts me. He was part of every single day of my life. I am lost without that call, it is amazing how losing 10 minutes a day can crush you on so many level. I miss you dad.

Struggle To Live and Solve the Problem

I am trying to understand everything I am going through. It is difficult and it hurts all the time. I try and understand why. I always come back to the fact that I miss my dad and just can't believe he is gone. I can almost feel him right here. Last night I actually picked up the phone with the intention of calling him only to be crushed by the realization he is gone. It is hard to find what life looks like without my dad. How do I find that place where I can live and enjoy life, the way my dad would want me to, without him here. He was the foundation of my life. Without him I can honestly say I would have nothing. Everyone tries to justify the fact that he is gone by telling me that he had to leave because I have to now carry on. I don't quite believe my dad would leave me, my mom, Kanch, or Quinn and Ronin just so I can fulfill a legacy. Then again did he have a choice to leave? I don't think so. He would suffer any pains to be with me. I know that without a doubt. I have always felt the connection that I had with my dad beyond the father and son. I felt I learned from him not through words or instruction but through being in his presence because I felt so close to him that I could understand what he did because I was like him. I am sure he saw everything of him in me. I wish I could have told him that as proud as he was that I was his son, I was even prouder to have him as a father. We found a card I gave him last year for Father's Day. It really says everything I wanted to say to him about his role as my father:

"If I have been able to see farther than others... it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants"

Sir Isaac Newton

When I succeed or excel it is because I have had my father lift me above. He has made all the difference in my life and now I struggle to live without him. Who will lift me up? Who will give me the confidence when I don't think I can do it? Who will I talk to everyday to give me that calming talk regardless of how the day went? It is a discouraging thought that I will have a hard time coping and enjoying life the same way I did. Is it possible? I don't know. I am sure I can enjoy life but can I enjoy it at the same level I did when my dad was here? I am not sure. That is the discouraging. That is a hard outlook for the rest of my life.

As I try to understand how I cope with grief and the process of letting my feelings flow, I start to understand more about me. The process is for me to cycle everything, regrets, circumstances, everything, until the point of exhaustion so that I fully deal with everything. This is very tough for me. Through discussions I am made aware that I need solutions to things, and I need them now. This was a bit of a revelation about me. I knew I had a tough time with patience but didn't know why. There were sometimes I was OK and others that I struggled. The reason, as I am now learning, is because I need solutions now. When the car breaks down, I need it fixed now. When we have an issue with our finances, I need it solved now. It is less a question of patience and more of solutions. I am OK to wait for a parcel to come in 3 weeks unless it is a part that will fix something I have. This is at the core of the issues I am having with losing my dad and finding a way to cope. When he was in the hospital I could find solutions, tests, levels, to see a way that this can be solved. With Quinn there is progression, there are therapists, there is a way to help her solve the things she struggles with. With my dad's passing there is no solution. With my pain from losing my dad there is no solution. So I have been blaming myself a lot. I have been thinking about the first things I would tell my dad right now if I had a chance. I would say "I love you" "I miss you" but I would also definitely say "I'm sorry". That is tough. I am sorry that I couldn't find a way to save him. I don't think anything was done wrong but I don't think I found a way that he could make it through even if it was very unlikely. No one will tell me that 100% he was going to leave us. That means there was a way, and I didn't find it. It is a burden I struggle with. I know I am not a doctor and I know I did the best anyone could expect, but the way I have always measured myself is by results and my dad didn't make it so I failed. With the pain I am having there is also no solution because the cause of the pain is my dad is gone and I miss him terribly. I want to organize my head and my heart so I "solve" this pain but I can't. It is only time that will ease the pain. It is difficult to feel helpless to the fact my dad is gone for me. It is a daily struggle to feel I can't change anything. I can't find a solution. I will keep trying and waiting. Waiting to find less pain and more joy in my life without my dad in a way that I don't feel guilty about it. This is the battle I go through all day.

The picture above is my favorite picture of my dad and I. I think it is better than the pictures at our wedding. The main reason is that we are on top of a glacier where we both thought we would never be. I loved being there and I know it was something he always wanted to do. We were on top of the world together. Arm in arm, facing the treacherous footing together. It was something I will cherish for the rest of my life. Thank you Dad.

Dad's Birthday - August 15, 1937

Today is my dad's birthday. I am not sure if I am supposed to say it would have been his birthday or it still is. I am going to say that today IS my Dad's birthday because regardless of what happened in the last month, today is the anniversary of the day he was born.

I was thinking that leading up to this day it wouldn't impact me as much because I miss him every minute of every day. I was wrong, really wrong. Today has just crushed me beyond words. I realized at about 3am this morning that today is the toughest of all days. Today was the one day that we could all do everything for my dad. Spoil him the way he was supposed to be and he would let us. Other days he wouldn't hear of it. If we would try and do something for him he would just say he will do it himself and tie in something for us. He was that kind of special man. I look around to other people and find it hard to see someone else like him. I guess that is why he was my dad. There was no one else like him, a true one of a kind original.

As I try and deal with today, I reflect on all the great times we had with him on birthdays. Not just his birthday but all our birthdays. We would always have cake. There would always be a meal out at a restaurant. There would definitely be presents. I remember my 30th birthday and I gave my parents such grief about getting me a weed wacker for my 30th birthday. I look back and regret giving him a hard time. I also am trying to look back and laugh because it is funny how they wanted to make sure I got something I either needed or wanted. My dad wasn't always sure what I wanted and I always told him I have everything I need. So he usually went the need route. I can honestly say that there was never a time when his heart was not in the right place. He wanted so badly to make me happy. I guess I never really told him that his hugs and his presence was more than enough for me. That made all the difference.

How do I know go on without having the enjoyment of my Dad in my life? How do I make this new life without him? I told everyone that he would never leave me and now I feel like I am leaving him by trying to move on with life.

I am struggling with the type of person I am and dealing with this. I am a bit of an obsessive personality so with all this pain I am trying to force the feelings through. Understand them, organize them, and then move on. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. This process is giving me so much frustration because I understand you can't force your heart into not hurting. All the rationalization in the world won't change a broken heart.

But today is my dad's day. I will try and celebrate him. Remember the years of laughter and joy we shared. Put on a happy face even if inside I am hurting. I will focus on being lucky to know him instead of sorrow of losing him. I will focus on him being happy instead of being lonely without him.

Today is his day and I will celebrate a beautiful man that gave me the world every day of my life. Would serve it up to me on a platter if I asked. I love him beyond words, beyond tears, and beyond this life.

I love you Dad.

Morning Sickness

I have been trying to organize my thoughts and appreciate all the support I have been receiving from everyone that cares about me. Throughout the day I get notes from people and it helps. That being said the time I need the most support is when people aren't around, early in the morning.

I have been waking up really early and in so much pain. Every morning I am woken up with so much despair and pain. It is like I am losing my dad again. I relive it all again so vividly every morning from the time he was admitted into the hospital to the point when he passed. Then I go through all the things I wanted to do with my dad when he was alive. Relive all the regrets I had. I try and work it out without waking up Brenda but the tears usually wake her up. Then I ask her to confirm details for me because I start to lose my ability to think straight as the wave of emotions over take me. The intensity is just as strong as when I first lost my dad. They say that over time the intensity doesn't really go down but you get more time between the pain and grief. I am terrified to live like this forever, dealing with the pain every morning, missing my dad so much, crying so much, hurting so much. I ask why did he have to go. I ask where he is now. I ask if I will ever see him again. I can't lay down and I can't stand up.

There is nothing in the morning that brings me comfort. I cry when I look at pictures and videos in the morning. It is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. The unrest eats me alive and I feel I am starting the grieving process all over again. Fighting to accept the loss of my dad. I try and rationalize why do I have to go through this every morning. Am I going crazy? Am I just making up for the time during sleep when I wasn't thinking about him? I just don't know. I am writing this in the morning and the tears are flowing. I want to have my dad hug me and make me feel safe. There is so much longing for him that my heart breaks to pieces.

When I do pull it together enough to get the kids up I go to see Ronin and every morning he refers to Aaja. Aaja would love this shirt. Do you miss Aaja daddy? Then I break apart again and have to take a break from him. I then think about all the thoughts Quinn is having that she can't tell me and it breaks me down even further. How does she cope and understand that her Aaja isn't here? How does she find comfort without him?

He provided a safe place for her the same way he did for me, so I understand how she might be feeling.

It is a cycle of grief that I don't know how to manage. How could I possibly get back to a normal life again with these mornings every day. Every day feeling lost and hurt. Every day feeling like I lost my father, friend, and protector. Every day feeling that love hurts so much. What is the point?

These are my mornings. This is what I go through every day. I don't feel I start my day until about 10am when I can get my emotions sorted out. So many tears. So much pain.

I have been actively trying to reach out to everyone and anyone I know to try and find support. Everyone has been great and I have received so much love from people. It helps so much to have people that I can reach out to and talk to. People that can tell me their memories of the relationship I had with my dad. I still can't believe my dad is gone. There are points when I talk to people and I think this is a terrible nightmare that will be over and he will be sitting with me again. Then I try to battle with the thoughts of coming to terms with missing him more than words. Missing having him near me. How do I not have him around in my life?

Thank you to everyone that has helped and continues to help me. I am sorry that this process isn't going as quickly as I would like. I wish I could come to terms of losing him and start the next phase of my life. I just can't yet. Nurses used to commend me on always being there for my dad and I used to tell them that I would never leave him. They say that they have never seen that before and I tell them that I know that he would never leave me. I am scared for my life to move on and leave him behind. I don't want my life to separate from my dad, ever.

Why are we here? What is Life about?

It has been a struggle lately understanding what is the point of life if everyone dies. There are tonnes of quotes that talk about the moments and the quality but in the end what is the purpose? I have been so angry lately and yelling when I am home alone. Yelling so loud that my voice goes hoarse. I am angry that my dad is gone. I am angry I didn't live my life to the fullest when he was here. I am angry other people have their dad. There is so much negative feelings running around my head. My mind is so overloaded with trying to make sense of everything that there are times I feel like I am falling apart.

So why are we here? For me, I was here to raise two kids, share my life with Brenda, be friends with my sister, and make my parents (mostly my dad) proud. That is the way I had structured my life. There were a lot of other little things in there but these were the pillars. Doing these things made me happy and gave my life purpose. Now that my dad is gone, there is a missing purpose in my life. I feel like the purpose of my life, the pillars, were a whole and not individual part. Since I can't make my dad proud, and get the positive reinforcement from him, then the whole thing is not valid. The missing parts are taking over everything. It makes it more difficult because the part of life that were my parents is gone. My dad has passed and my mom is no longer whole. Those two things together, my dad being gone and my mom heartbroken, has made me question how am I supposed to live life.

My plan is gone. I don't know what I am supposed to do here. Quinn and Ronin need me but I am hardly a father lately as I can barely mentally cope with taking care of myself. That being said, I know I need to pull together because they deserve as good, if not better, life than I had. I refer to a better life than me because I think in the end that is what my dad would want. A progression of improvement of life quality. He had very little growing up, I feel I had all I wanted, and I would want Quinn and Ronin to have even more.

So people ask me what my dad would say or tell me. I know he would tell me "It's Ok Mills", "You have to try Mills" but it isn't the same as him being here. I know he would want me to live my life well and take care of the kids, but it isn't the same as him being here. Sometimes we take for granted knowing something and hearing it. We don't say the things we should because it is known. I think I said the things I wanted to my dad in the hospital and through life but I can't remember all the things that I wanted to hear from him. I know them without a doubt but hearing it would make it even better. So I try to get up in the morning, I try to do things that make me seem useful and try to get back to somewhat of a routine even if it feels empty beyond words. I hold Ronin a little tighter, I squeeze Quinn a little longer, but it feels like an act. They have the saying that you fake it before you make it. I guess I am taking that route and hoping for the best but it isn't easy. Even faking it takes so much energy that it is beyond me. I find myself going places and planning an escape route if my emotions get the better of me. It is hard to live like this but hoping it gets better.

My dad was this amazing man. He gave me everything he had. He gave his family everything he had. He wasn't selfish and he never held back. I hope wherever he is, he knows I think he was the greatest man I have ever known.

I remember mornings driving to the GO station to catch my train, I would drive by my parents street everyday in the hopes that I would see my dad. Some mornings I would be lucky enough to see him pulling out in his Cadillac and I hope he could see how happy I was to be with him, even if it was in two separate cars. Just the sight of him and his presence brought so much joy and calmness to me. It was inspiring. I would race to catch up to him and be along side his car as long as I could. Even with other cars honking I would stay along side him and wave like I was 5 years old. It made the day a little better seeing him.

Now that he is gone, I have a void. I am not sure how life should be, where I go from here. Can I survive this pain and will my mom be ok. It all seems like too much from one heart to take. I will do my best to forge on but feel like I continue to fall and force myself to get back up. I worry that sometimes I don't feel like getting back up.

My Father

As most of you know, I lost my father on July 13th, 2011 at 12:13 am. It was after a long battle (8 weeks) in the hospital and so many miracles. He meant the world to us. My mom, Kanch, Brenda and the kids (Quinn and Ronin) are crushed. I can't speak about the pain my mom is going through because that is her experience and I couldn't accurately capture it here but I know that her experience is similar to mine. I know this because the things she tells me she is worried about and upset about are similar to mine.

It has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I struggle every morning with despair of missing my dad. He was a great guy. Anyone that knew him would agree he was just an amazing man. Everyone has regrets when a loved one passes. My regrets started even before my dad passed. During the first 2 weeks in the hospital I was very aware of the relationship I had with my dad that had gone on for so long with out my conscious notice of it. The connection I had with him and the things I wanted him to tell me became clear. He is and will always be my hero. I prayed and hoped desperately for him to get better so that I could have another chance to live my life with my best friend. Show him all that I have learned but that wasn't to be.

I wrote, and continue to write, notes to him. Originally I was going to share them with him when he got better but now I do it to organize my mind/heart. I still wish there was a way he could see them.

Brenda and I have had so many problems with cars lately and that is a constant reminder that my dad isn't around. He was always my go to guy for cars. He was the only person in this world I could ask anything to without feeling like a burden. It is tough to live life without that safety. When our car broke down outside Peterborough it almost totally broke me. I hadn't called my dad to bail me out of a jam with cars in almost 5 years and then a couple weeks after his passing I need him. He would have drove to Peterborough for me right away with a plan, no matter what time of night. He was always there for me.

Someone described to me that losing a parent is a club that you never want to be in but something that you have with these other people. Right now I feel like the only person in the world that lost my father. They say that in fact I am. I am the only Milan that lost his Dad, Gooruduth (Greg). My experiences with my dad are different from everyone else so my grieving will be different. That being said the cycle is the same but the content is different for everyone.

My dad was this great man that dropped everything when he was in his 20's to support his whole family. Put one brother through medical school and continue to help his family to the day he passed. I don't know how a man can give up so much. Everyone that has ever met him would say he was a distinguished man that was a pleasure to be around. People would also comment on how proper and disciplined he was. What people don't know is he melted when Quinn and Ronin were around. Playing Hide & Seek with them, chasing them around, getting them whatever they wanted and most of all a place they could run and get comfort.

One of the hardest parts of losing my dad is the impact to my kids. Ronin has told me he misses him but not for himself as much as for me. He wants his Aaja back so his daddy isn't sad. He told me he will do anything to bring Aaja back for Christmas because Aaja loves Christmas. Quinn is another story, she is going to people she normally doesn't and seems to be searching for Aaja but can't find him. It must be torture to be so heartbroken and not be able to tell Brenda or I. I feel for her.

Days have been tough to not have my dad. The day to day is manageable but the feeling of foreverness is unbearable at times. I will never have him around again. No hugs, No kisses, No laughing voice. I will live the rest of my life without my father. That is a tough thing to face because I am not sure I have the strength to face the pain when it comes, and from what everyone says it will come, for the rest of my life.

My dad never had the chance to tell me his last words and I feel cheated. He had a vent tube in for the last 6 weeks in hospital and desperately tried to communicate with me. He used to try so hard to talk and get so tired trying. I told him that I love him, and I know he loves me. I told him I know he is proud of me and he loves Quinn and Ronin. I told him I will take care of mom. I told him he was my hero. I told him all these things but never got a chance to hear his voice and know what he was thinking. I can think of the things he would say but not hearing it isn't the same.

I will continue to write here because I know people are concerned about me and this will help me think out my thoughts and also give people insight to what I am going through

Hong Kong & Singapore

We made the trip around the other side of the world to Sal and Julianne's wedding in Singapore. 20 hours flying time. It was grueling both going there and coming back. It just isn't right to be couped up on a plane that long. The trip from Toronto to Hong Kong was 16 hours. That is the 12 longest flight in the world and it felt like it. On the way back it took us 3 different planes and 30 hours of travel time to make it back.

However, in between those plane trips and the 4 different places we stayed at it was a great trip and got a chance to see places that I am sure we didn't think we would. Hong Kong was just an amazing place and it was great to spend time with Sal & Juls in Singapore and especially being part of the wedding. The weather was great. A couple of points of rain but over all it was HOT! We kept ourselves busy and made sure we spent the time to see the things we wanted to.

We missed the kids horribly and we are so fortunate that we were able to Skype with them so much and just loved seeing them. The 12 hour time difference made it tough but at least we didn't have to change our clocks!! The kids had an amazing time with their Grammy, Mick, Auntie Aisling, Auntie Anna, Auntie Sue and Auntie Nead, along with all their cousins. They had power packed days and just had a blast. We are so fortunate that everyone in London was able to take the time to look after them. That being said, they didn't just look after them, they fully entertained them! That is a whole different class of work effort! Their Aaji and Aaja even made a trip from Brampton to London to see them. Either way we are glad to have them now home with us.

Pictures of the trip have been posted at: www.brelan.ca/2010_hk_singapore